Shuffling the deck

Three big trades at the NHL Entry Draft sent shockwaves through the league, shockwaves that will still be felt around the league as free agent season kicks off next week.

In the first move, the Calgary Flames acquired Mike Cammalleri from the L.A. Kings. Cammalleri is a smallish forward with outstanding skill. He is a more complete player than Alex Tanguay was for Calgary, and still has room to improve. The most surprising part of the move is that L.A. was willing to part with him. I can’t say I have any idea where Cammalleri fits in the Flames lineup, but obviously they’re hoping he clicks with captain Jarome Iginla to create a real scoring threat. The fact remains though, that Cammalleri can’t make up for a woeful defense corps that can’t bail out their goalie when Miikka Kiprusoff is having an off night.

With Cammalleri wrapped up, the Flames shipped the disgruntled Tanguay to Montreal—finally. Tanguay-to-Montreal rumours started at the beginning of last season with a Tanguay-for-Alex Kovalev swap that nearly everyone thought would come to fruition. Later, at the trading deadline, the rumour was Tanguay-for-Michael Ryder, before finally becoming Tanguay-for-picks. It should be interesting to see how Tanguay reacts to the Montreal media, since he wilted under the media here in Calgary. If he can handle the pressure, he should be a great fit on a line with Saku Koivu. Sadly, the acquisition of Tanguay almost certainly means Ryder’s days in Montreal are done.

The last big trade involved the Phoenix Coyotes. Yes, you read that right. Phoenix made their first big splash in ages, shipping a pair of young defensemen to Florida for Olli Jokinen. The former Panthers captain has missed just one game in the last five seasons, and is among the post-lockout scoring leaders with 251 points. He gives the Coyotes the kind of offensive threat they haven’t had since a young Keith Tkachuk called the desert home. Added to a mix of youngsters like Daniel Carcillo, Peter Mueller and Kyle Turris, it’s easy to see the Coyotes are no longer content to be in the club. The Coyotes are going to be 2008-09’s favourite darkhorse pick.

From the Florida side, they lost their captain, but gained two very steady, young defensemen. Keith Ballard and Nick Boynton are very reliable defenders, and both have a lot of potential waiting to be tapped. The concern is that Cats had 12 defensemen under contract at the end of the draft. The best I can figure is they’ll bring all 12 to training camp to get a good look at all of them, then make a move early in the season to try to get a forward. Or, they’re going to play two forwards and three d to try to give Tomas Vokoun some help.

Later, in smaller deals, the Flyers sent R.J. Umberger to Columbus for picks, and picked up Steve Eminger from Washington for picks. Eminger is a good depth move by the Flyers. During their improbable playoff run, their lack of blue line depth was exposed. As for the Jackets, on paper they’re completely out of excuses. If they still can’t make the playoffs this year (whether top pick Nikita Filatov comes over or not), look for GM Scott Howson to make big moves at the end of 08-09.

Conscription may suck, but the draft is great

There’s just something about draft day. I can’t really explain it, but it’s just an exciting event. I love watching the players’ reactions when they’re called to the podium, and it’s always fun to read all the posturing, and of course, the wheeling and dealing.

The 2008 NHL Entry Draft is almost certain to go down in infamy. Between Steven Stamkos’ potential, the overall depth of the draft pool, and significant trades dramatically altering the NHL landscape, this draft had it all.

We all know about Stamkos by now, and we all knew he was going to be selected first overall. I am not a fan at all of the way the Lightning organization is run, and I have no faith at all in their ability to foster the growth in Stamkos the hockey world is hoping to see. Time and again we’ve seen it in sports: a young player with great potential ends up in a bad situation, and the potential is lost.

Now, this is in no way intended to question Stamkos’ abilities. Having watched him a little, and having read about him, he seems to have the focus and the drive, and all the unquantifiables you want in a first-overall selection. This is entirely a damnation of the Lightning. Hell, they don’t even have a coach for this kid yet.

Moving along, because the draft was too exciting this year to focus on just Tampa Bay, at some point Nicklas Lidstrom is going to hit the back nine. It just has to happen. And when that time comes, the four young men selected after Stamkos will likely be ready to battle one another for a decade’s worth of Norris Trophies.

There is no questioning the potential for greatness Drew Doughty, Zach Bogosian, Alex Pietrangelo and Luke Schenn have. In a year without a clear-cut number one, the posturing to get at these four guys would have been incredible. Each is a “spice-to-taste” kind of player. They all bring different styles and different development needs, but there’s almost no doubt all four players will be stars for a long time.

By adding Doughty to a mix that already included Tom Preissing and Jack Johnson, and strong veterans like Rob Blake and Jon Klemm, the Kings will be looking to take enormous steps forward in the next few seasons. In Doughty and Johnson, the Kings may have the best young defensive pairing in the league. More on L.A. in a minute.

The Atlanta Thrashers hope by adding Bogosian they can begin to make up for a big mistake at the 2007 trading deadline. That mistake, of course, was dealing away Braydon Coburn only to watch him finally blossom with the Philadelphia Flyers this past season. Bogosian is seen by some as a project, but after watching Coburn languish in the minors before eventually giving up on him, it’s hard to imagine Atlanta makes the same mistake with Bogosian. Alongside their young core of Tobias Enstrom, Garnet Exelby, Steve McCarthy, Bogosian should be a good fit, and could be the missing piece they need to make a leap (either Bogosian or an experienced defense coach).

In St. Louis, they have an issue with the idea of Doughty and Johnson being the best young defensive duo in the league. The Blues selected Alex Pietrangelo to team with Erik Johnson, and give the Kings’ pair a run. Pietrangelo draws many comparisons to Doughty, but plays with less flash, and absolutely has all the tools.

Making their best move since trading for Mats Sundin, the Toronto Maple Leafs made a deal with the Islanders to move up and grabbed Luke Schenn with the number five pick. Schenn in a physical force and an absolute terror to play against. He hit everything that came into the Canadian end during the World Juniors, and should transition very easily into the pro ranks.

Chicago may have the steal of the draft in Kyle Beach. Off-ice issues hurt Beach’s stock, otherwise many regard him as the most talented player in the draft. In Chicago, with the Wirtz’s new direction, and with strong leaders like Dave Tallon and Dennis Savard, Beach should be in very good hands.

Not content to draft just their powerplay quarterback of the future, the Kings also went for their shot-blocking, PIM-leading, penalty-killing leader of the future, selecting Colten Teubert with their second pick of the first round. Teubert doesn’t project in the same class the other four do, but he’s the kind of guy you can’t win without.

Ottawa went way off the board with the 15^th pick, selecting Erik Karlsson of Frolunda. The tiny Swede debuted on ISS’s rankings in May, and shot up teams’ draft boards like a draft day version of Fabian Brunnstrom. It says here Ray Emery will be back with Ottawa before Karlsson makes any kind of impact.

Speaking of off the board, hello Boston! The Bruins swung for the fences drafting Joe Colborne out of the Alberta Junior League. He was by far the league’s most talented player this season, and has appeared on most draft lists as a second rounder, or very late in the first round. At 6’5” Colborne could team with Milan Lucic in an imposing lineup.

In the end, International Scouting Services and the NHL’s Central Scouting nearly picked all 30 first rounders correctly, and nearly did so in the correct order. This draft appears to be rife with talent, and looking back in three, five, 10 or 20 years’ time, should be very fun.

Stay tuned for thoughts on the major draft-day trades.

Title image stolen from this brilliant John Buccigross column

LMITR Movie Review-- Get Smart

Spoiler alert: the movie is pretty funny, they stop the bad guys in time, and the guy gets the girl. Phew, thank goodness we got that out of the way.

This time ‘round, the film in question is Get Smart.

I won’t compare it to the tv show, since I don’t remember if I ever did watch it. So instead, I just sat back, ate my nachos, and tried to enjoy myself.

And it turns out, that’s exactly what I did. You’ve got your generic spy movie plot, you’ve got Mel Brooks in charge of slapstick comedy, Steve Carell being far less loathsome than I normally find him, and a veritable who’s-who list of “That guy”s playing the smaller parts. To top it all off, you’ve got the best airplane bathroom scene since Tommy Boy (director Peter Segal’s other good movie).

So what more could you ask for? For a family-friendly comedy that packs as many laughs as any movie in recent memory, you couldn’t ask for much more at all. Even the gags from the trailers hold up well in the film’s context.

See this movie.

Well what do you believe in?

Fathers Day, minor-league baseball, and the 20^th anniversary of Bull Durham’s release. Add it all up, and it can be a bit much for any man—but particularly this one.

On Sunday afternoon I ventured to Foothills Stadium to take in my first Calgary Vipers game, and if I may borrow from MasterCard; Ticket to the game: $7, Spolumbo’s sausage and a Big Rock: $7, New Vipers hat: $13, Sunny afternoon at the ballyard: priceless.

The game itself was an 11-run blowout that started poorly for the home side. The Vipers were behind 2-0 after the top of the first inning—despite not giving up a hit. But the bats came to life in a big way in the bottom of the second inning, when the Vipers hit three solo home runs to tie the game, and they never looked back.

The Vipers took the lead for good in the third inning, and a sixth-inning grand slam assured the fans would all go home happy. And for what it’s worth, it was the first time I’ve ever seen a grand slam live.

But the point of all this is the movie. I would have been 17 or so the first time my father sat me down, and basically forced me to watch it. At the time, being too cool for everything, I thought the movie was pretty hokey.

Then it happened. The speech. Right there at the 53 second mark. Maybe you were expecting this speech. Either way, I don’t know many ballplayers that can’t recite both.

In the eight-or-so years since that night, I’ve watched the movie at least 100 times. Every time it’s better than the last, and every time I laugh my ass off. Whether it’s Nuke LaLoosh absolutely destroying Try A Little Tenderness, or Crash Davis teaching LaLoosh the cliches, or Jimmy and Millie’s improbable romance, or Jose’s cursed glove. It gets me every time.

So to my dad: Happy Fathers Day, and thanks for teaching me about this movie.

Good news

Mosquitos will not kill you. Well, not yet at least. According to a spokesman from Alberta Health and Wellness, the killer mosquitos, the ones carrying West Nile, malaria, and untold millions of other lethal infections, don't come out until later in the season. So in the spring time, don't waste your time, effort, or $8 on mosquito repellent. The bites are still annoying, but they're not lethal. As with every other public=health scare, most average, healthy children and adults run almost no risk of falling seriously ill. The elderly are the most susceptible, as are those with compromised immune systems, those with a history of organ transplants, and diabetics. So by all means, if you've had a myriad of organ transplants, grab one of these from your local Canadian Tire. For the rest of us, can we please calm down? Elsewhere: the Hamilton Tiger-Cats won their first pre-season game tonight. It may end up being the high-water mark of the 2008 season, so please allow me a moment to enjoy it.

Musings from the world of sport

That didn't take very long... First things first, I need to address this: That was mortifying, and Lord Stanley of Preston is surely spinning in his grave. If the 10 years between lockouts wasn't enough proof NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman needs to be fired, that video is. That said, there's a guy that came out of the audience wearing a Gerard Gallant jersey, and that lends this spot some credibility. Gallant amassed 1603 penalty minutes playing in 563 games for the Detroit Red Wings between 1984 and 1993 (plus an extra 178 PIM in 58 playoff games), earning a reputation as one of the league's premiere hard-asses. And, in news that would make the heaviest science fiction heavyweights proud, the World Anti-Doping Association (headed by one of the world's premiere douche bags, the hilariously-named Dick Pound) has announced they intend to stay in front of any attempts by athletes to use genetic doping as a way to enhance their performances at international competition. I won't even try to explain it, but gene doping sure sounds like it beats the hell out of old-fashioned, tried-and-true methods like steroids, greenies (amphetamines routinely used by baseball players in the past), blood doping and over-the-counter medicine. Dear WADA: try using the two sports-free days of the year to announce your ridiculous plans and to throw around baseless accusations. Before you assholes reared your ugly mugs, the month of June was quite pleased to roll along with dreams of a horse-racing triple crown winner, Tiger's assault on golf's majors, a spectacular Stanley Cup Final that showed off the best hockey since the 2002 Olympics, a dream NBA Finals match-up between Boston and Los Angeles, Manny Ramirez joining baseball's 500 home run club and Ken Griffey Jr becoming just the sixth member of the 600 home run club, and a little thing called Euro 2008. Sure, there's a lot of bad in the sports world (Cedric Benson, Tim Donaghy, and the above clip from Leno), but most sports fans couldn't care less about the bad things. We turn to sports for entertainment, and if the morons that watched the debut of Celebrity Circus, or The Hills or Big Brother are allowed to ignore the bad, we sports fans should also be allowed some ignorance. Because in the end, scandals come and go, and serve as footnotes for decades, but over time, all 16, 003 people that saw Griffey's home run Monday night will tell the tale again and again. Just the way moments like The Shot Heard 'Round the World, Paul Henderson's goal, Bobby Orr's goal, Dwight Clark's The Catch, Wiliey Mays' The Catch, Joe Carter and Bill Mazeroski, and even Babe Ruth's Called Shot which has never been proven to have happened, all live on from generation to generation, proving simultaneously that dreams can come true, and the impossible is possible. Lastly, for what it's worth, The Hockey Theme is just a song. Anyone that watched Hockey Night in Canada for the song, and not the hockey should probably be shot.

SLOAN

Fantastic news, friends! The new Sloan CD is here. Now, I know what you're thinking: since when is Steve a Sloan fan? Since their previous album Never Hear the End of It is when. Anyway, I'll keep it short here. I needed about four seconds of the first track to decide to recommend this album. Ontario friends, they're in Toronto this Thursday night. Alberta friends, we're screwed (of course, they were here a couple weeks ago and were excellent). People reading from elsewhere, check out Sloan's site for tour info. Anywho, Adam left some shepherd's pie on the counter, so I'm going to eat that. Until next time, happy listening. Image thieved from Amazon

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (Or, Welcome to the new blog)

Well, there’s only one way to kick this new blog off right: ol’ fashioned fear mongering!

This week’s government-sanctioned reason to run for the hills: tomatoes. That’s right, you say tomato, I say tomahto, The Simpsons say tomacco, and the United State Food and Drug Administration says little red ball of death (or at least little red ball of diarrhea, fever, vomiting or abdominal pain).

The FDA is trying their best to determine the source of the killer tomatoes, but they are fairly certain laid-back Canada and the Netherlands are not the source. Israel, where I’d never have guessed tomatoes grow, is also not considered among the suspects. Colonel Mustard, Guatemala and the Dominican Republic, as well as a hanful of US states also have strong alibis.

So why oh why has my local Wendy’s stopped serving tomatoes on their sandwiches? Have you ever had a Classic Single without tomato? It’s disgusting. Not to be out-done, the Tim Hortons closest to my office has also fallen in line, reducing their ham and Swiss sandwich to a half-pound of balled ham, dry processed Swiss cheese, listless lettuce and a wonderful ranch dressing. Now, a sandwich’s thirst-quenching abilities is the last thing on my mind when I order one, that’s what rum and Gatorade is for, but surely a sandwich need not be as dry as a bag of cement.

Furthermore, if the FDA is so worried about foods that can cause diarrhea, vomiting or abdominal pain, why the hell are places like McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Taco Bell allowed to operate? Yeah, that was an obvious joke, what of it?

The guilty parties are red plum tomatoes, red round tomatoes (maybe I’m over-simplifying, but aren’t all tomatoes red and round?), and in a fantastic twist of fate, red Roma tomatoes. According to the Internet, Roma tomatoes were engineered to be a firmer, more disease-resistant tomato.

So what to make of all this? Damned if I know, but know this: the killer tomatoes are not Canadian. Additionally, executives from Blockbuster and Netflix were not available to comment on the sudden increase in rentals of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

If your tomato was grown in Canada, it’s fine. If Wendy’s or Tim Hortons or Taco Bell or heaven-help-you Burger King, or your own damn mother won’t give you a Canadian tomato, they’re just trying to deny you some joy (or get a head start on their Grey Cup chili).

Frankly, I’m much more worried about the strangulation danger these blinds may pose.

Lastly, anyone interested in seeing the best photo caption associated with the salmonella warning should look here.

Image stolen from here.